Tobias: Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over— an analyst and a therapist. The world’s first analrapist.
Lindsay: Yes, and you were almost arrested for those business cards.
Tobias Fünke Arrested Development / 2003
[On September 12, 2001]
I turned to the woman behind me and asked if I could pay her a dollar to use her cell phone.
She thought about it for a second. "Hmmmm ... No. I don't want to use up my minutes."
Not her batteries, that she would need in good working order to call for help, god forbid, were she trapped underneath some fallen rubble, but her minutes. A purchasable commodity that I was in fact offering to purchase.
Oddly enough, I found this display of cuntiness not twenty-four hours after tragedy bracingly restorative. We were still intact after all.
Don’t Get Too Comfortable / 2010